Zenovia
Thinking of my best friend taking my virginity right here in her clinic did not only gross me out but also more than that. I did have mixed feelings given my unknown state at the moment.
‘Doamne ferește!’ (God forbid!) I never thought I could get something troublesome like this. I never ever thought I’d be in this situation in the first place, although I did know that at one point in my life, I could catch or contract something and that I may be hospitalized or see a doctor. And never had I thought I’d need my best friend like this, either.
“And to let you know, this physical exam can cause you unusual pain or discomfort,” Antonia further explained to me. “It’s not conclusive and can’t be relied upon to truly establish the diagnosis of endometriosis. I can be wrong, Zen. But… we can instead use ultrasound to rule out other pelvic diseases, and perhaps, we may find out the presence of endometriosis in your vaginal and bladder areas. But then again, unfortunately, we need to be more accurate to diagnose it.”
‘So why are you telling me all this and not just go straight to the point?’
I took a deep breath, trying to normalize my heartbeat, and did not blurt out what I had on my mind. I knew she was just explaining to me things, but I was getting edgy. And actually, I was on the verge of panicking and breaking down right now.
“Okay. Okay. So, what then?” My thoughts were reeling at the same time. I was really afraid of what might happen to me in the future. Besides Antonia and my parents that I didn’t speak with much, I was all alone in life. I had no siblings to talk to or to vent my anger on either.
“For an accurate diagnosis, I have to directly inspect the inside of your pelvis and abdomen and thus need a tissue for biopsy of the implants, as it’s necessary. Meaning to say, I need you to be at the hospital since we need either laparotomy or laparoscopy.”
I took a deep breath once again and closed my eyes for a second or two, then I looked at my friend. “What are these… -tomy and -copy you’re saying?” I queried, didn’t get what those medical terms were. I guess that slipped from my mind when I was reading some articles or that I may not altogether have met these words before.
“Laparotomy involves opening the abdomen by using a huge incision.”
“What?” My eyes bulged, and I looked at my stomach. Of course, it wasn’t directly since I had my shirt and jeans on, as I was sitting on the visitor’s chair in front of my friend’s desk, while she sat behind it in her grey swivel chair. “You’re going to open me up?”
“Well, if we must, so that we’ll know for sure…”
“No, no, no, no! I don’t want to be sliced open!” I protested in panic. I wasn’t afraid of blood, but I was afraid of wounds. Did it make sense? Of course not! I was that weird!
“As for the laparoscopy, it is the most frequent surgical procedure that most usual employees used for the diagnosis of endometriosis. Laparoscopy is just a minor surgical procedure that is performed under general anesthesia—”
“Doamne ferește!” I cut her off and crossed myself. As a Catholic, it wasn’t really my habit compared to Antonia, who was an Orthodox and would cross herself thrice, but at this point… God! I thought this was just getting worse and worse. I wanted to get out of here, for the first time. Before, whenever I visited my friend at her clinic, I was always happy to just chat with her, especially when she isn’t busy. She had a specific time for her private clinic, and the rest was at a Iași hospital.
Iași is a university city in Romania and is somewhere northeast of Bucharest, more than a five-hour car drive.
most commonly performed as an outpatient procedure, so you don’t need to stay in the facility overnight. To tell you more, so that you
ile thinking about what she said. I thought this was really graphic, imag
t’s say, your blown up abdominal cavity. That way, I can inspect your abdomen and pelvis. Through this, endometri
lism but I knew she was telling me all this like a friend, filling me in with those little details
was in a riot right now. What if thi
once we’re done with the ultrasound today, if you want
eyes w
as indeed immediate. This was going all t
of my face when I zoned out again. “Hey, don’t worry, oka
is! You know what this entails, Antonia,” I told her bitterly.
n sure if it’s endo
you’re right? What’s going to happen
Maksim
h Anichka, I buried myself at work. I was happier whe
Rurik who was two years older than me. He joined the company and started to work his fat ass off at the age of twenty-three. My uncle, my late father’s younger brother-in-law and was Rurik’s late fathe
ousin)?” Rurik smirked as he sat down on the stool at our favourite bar in down
bulging in the middle because of his chubbiness. The edge was tucked in, making him look ancient
tocky bartender in his thirties eyed us once in a while as he served other custo
d liquors to keep their femininity. As far as I knew since I became aware of drinks and other adult stuff—and it had nothin
y there are numerous traffic accidents and deaths, mostly men, in the country. The cars would
an eyesore?” I returned while he ordered
til you see Mother back from
she was there?” I asked and downed all
ome,” he said and drank his whisky, half of its content. He gritted his teeth as he savored his drink and swallo
that I needed another glass of my cocktail. Then, my s
ney and everything, Rurik, but I can’t see and feel the joy in all of this. Now, tell me if I d
, if I could call it that. Fucking pathetic, really. I wasn’t easy to break down just like that, and I wasn’t the type to complain
Romania, inside The Black Church becaus
it on my phone even though taking videos or other sorts of recording
e the altar was located as well, my eyes suddenly caught a glimpse of the black-haired woman across the aisle. She